One of the hardest things for me is condolences. It is not because there is nothing I could write; is because I sense that no matter what I write it will not have the desired effect on the other person and therefore nothing I could write passes the empath test.
I know how they will feel when they read whatever I’ve written and delete and retype. Then try again. Eventually I give up. It is difficult because I want to reassure and make them feel better but that is impossible because nothing I write can achieve that. In these situations the only thing to do, is be there for that person so they have an open forum to vent and cry without judgement. But how do you communicate that in writing? “I’m sorry that happened and I’m there for you?”
Empathy is considered a standard human emotion, some have more or less. Few none. In my case it is more a superpower. It is a difficult thing to live with and only as I crossed into my 30s did I learn to control it. Perhaps I should explain what all of this is and how it works.
Empathy for me is feeling another person’s deepest emotions without any real effort. It is subconscious and many empaths spend portions of their life thinking they are too emotional. Cry at the drop of a hat. Get angry too fast. Called weak.
Until the day you realize that it isn’t you who is sad, hurt, or angry. It is someone around you. All you are doing is absorbing their emotion and channeling it. Unless you make yourself aware of this occurrence you will never control it. Or prevent it.
In general I do not like people because they make me feel emotions that are not mine and shielding myself from that is exhausting. I have a threshold and once that is met I cannot cope and differentiate between my emotions and those of others. So I start acting out with theirs.
With empathy I also have a good sense for who people are. It isn’t always the surface emotions but the hidden intent people have. Most learn this by reading body language. Perhaps I do this subconsciously but there is no doubt that within five minutes I can tell who you are as a person. Even in online socialization.
Curious about yourself? Take the 16 Pesonalities test from Meyers Briggs and comment your results below.