Gamer, Wife, Workaholic

The Online Empath

One of the hardest things for me is condolences. It is not because there is nothing I could write; is because I sense that no matter what I write it will not have the desired effect on the other person and therefore nothing I could write passes the empath test.

I know how they will feel when they read whatever I’ve written and delete and retype. Then try again. Eventually I give up. It is difficult because I want to reassure and make them feel better but that is impossible because nothing I write can achieve that. In these situations the only thing to do, is be there for that person so they have an open forum to vent and cry without judgement. But how do you communicate that in writing? “I’m sorry that happened and I’m there for you?”

Empathy is considered a standard human emotion, some have more or less. Few none. In my case it is more a superpower. It is a difficult thing to live with and only as I crossed into my 30s did I learn to control it. Perhaps I should explain what all of this is and how it works.

Empathy for me is feeling another person’s deepest emotions without any real effort. It is subconscious and many empaths spend portions of their life thinking they are too emotional. Cry at the drop of a hat. Get angry too fast. Called weak.

Until the day you realize that it isn’t you who is sad, hurt, or angry. It is someone around you. All you are doing is absorbing their emotion and channeling it. Unless you make yourself aware of this occurrence you will never control it. Or prevent it.

In general I do not like people because they make me feel emotions that are not mine and shielding myself from that is exhausting. I have a threshold and once that is met I cannot cope and differentiate between my emotions and those of others. So I start acting out with theirs.

With empathy I also have a good sense for who people are. It isn’t always the surface emotions but the hidden intent people have. Most learn this by reading body language. Perhaps I do this subconsciously but there is no doubt that within five minutes I can tell who you are as a person. Even in online socialization.

Curious about yourself? Take the 16 Pesonalities test from Meyers Briggs and comment your results below.

16personalities.com

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Gamer, Wife, Workaholic

Who Is Purls?

I think it is time to expand my blog a little. I’ve always enjoyed writing and there is only so much one can write about a game. Especially when there are numerous websites that cover everything you need.

It was suggested, and I previously though of doing this, that I add references to my blog such as rss for building and items of that nature. I’m not interested in digging that deep or being responsible for staying on top of updates. This data is already out there and I’m far too busy with my career to focus on those items.

What you will get onstead, is me. Just Purls. Not just the gamer, but the wife and workaholic.

The Wife

Many of you may know that I am married and my husband plays koa with me. It’s awesome because I don’t need to worry about getting yelledat for ignoring him like many who have nongamer significant others. However in the con list is sharing a gaming budget and fights over a game because we are both fiercely competitive. So there’s that.

The Workaholic

I work 10 plus hours a day at a financial technology company. Right now I’m developing my career and setting myself up on a path to bigger and better. My title on paper is Operations Manager but technically my responsibilities exceed that.

I’m the senior knowledgebase and miracle worker. I get shit done. I work with our top clients and manage our portfolios while running Operations under our COO. I’ve been with the company seven years and started as a sales admin.

Want to Know More?

That’s just a peek. The basics. I’ll start writing more about these topics in future posts and less about the game. Why? Because if you follow my YouTube channel all my gaming life is on display and I don’t need to rehash that here.

Don’t forget to hit subscribe on my blog to stay up to date and well as my other social media sites.